The first word that comes to mind is “pressure” – I carry around an immense feeling of pressure. To get it right, to be good, to work hard, to relax – it makes seemingly unproductive weeks like this feel unbearable, gives me creepy-crawly skin if I think about it too long. But yesterday I had a bit of a revelation, one that I want to go back to again and again until it finally seeps into my consciousness.
If we are all truly made of God-stuff (as I believe) then surely God loves us even when we get it wrong… That part should be obvious. But let’s take that analogy one step further. Say us little humans really are beloved children of God – perhaps coming to Earth in human form is like God dropping us off in a giant toy store, saying “You can play with anything you want in here… Have fun!”
What I mean is this: maybe there is no predestined purpose for our lives other than to play – or, more accurately, experience fully what it is to be human. We can learn from virtually any situation, and we’ll never have time to “do it all”… So instead of seeing the road ahead as a series of choices that could lead us closer or further from our so-called purpose, maybe we’d be better off seeing ALL choices as valid… Perhaps our true focus should be on being present, on “playing” with the experience in a fully engaged way.
If I could be content with each moment, listening to my intuition but not taxing it so heavily by demanding it to guide me to some far-off ideal future… Maybe then I could enjoy everyday living more, be more open to what is, and indeed more loving as a result.
POEM OF INSPIRATION:
“To live content with small means;
to seek elegance rather than luxury,
and refinement rather than fashion,
to be worthy, not respectable,
and wealthy, not rich;
to study hard, think quietly,
talk gently, act frankly,
to listen to stars and birds,
to babes and sages
with open heart,
to bear all cheerfully,
to all bravely await occasions,
In a word, to let the spiritual
unbidden and unconscious
grow up through the common.
This is to be my symphony.”
― William Henry Channing